We ask Harv Eker “How do we conquer life?”
He responded with,
If I was going to ask, “How are you?”, you would say, “Fine, or okay, or good, or great”…yes? You wouldn’t really answer the question, or you’d answer it superficially if you were like the majority of people.
If I ask, “What’s going on for you right now? What’s happening in your mind? What’s happening in your heart? What’s your predominant energy right now? What are you thinking about a lot of the time?” Most people would have an answer to that if they really thought about what they were thinking about.
I do that quite a bit. As long as I don’t overdo it, I actually find it quite helpful to keep myself in check.
One of the key elements that we teach, and that a lot of people teach, is the element of consciousness. Consciousness is about acting from the present moment instead of based on programming from the past. It’s about making conscious choices in this moment and not being habitual or automatic like we normally are.
If you notice, the key element that many monks have taken 40 years in caves to consider is the element of observation. It’s observing yourself, being your own witness.
It means thinking about what you’re thinking about. It means taking a bird’s eye view of your life, your situation, and where you’re at.
It’s your way of thinking, feeling, and acting and observing that. Not in a judgmental way as in, “Oh my god! What an idiot I am!”, or, “How great am I?” It’s not like that. It’s just watching how you do your life.
My Zen teacher is Cherri Huber
If you can do this without judgment, you’re going to be in great shape. What Cheri says is the problem most people have is that they do it, but they do it with judgment.
Considering that most of us grow up in a culture that emphasizes on superficial things, it’s no wonder most people have a part in them that’s near neurotically self-critical, when people feel like they don’t compare to others who are successful.
And that’s not including those circumstances from our childhood and life traumas that pile on feelings of lowered self-worth.
It’s tough for a lot of people to look critically at their lives and accept, without judgment, that whatever happened before to make us who we are now, we do have a now to work with! But sometimes there are places within themselves people just don’t want to go.
The issue is that when we do look at ourselves, it’s like turning the lights on in a dark room. Let me ask you a simple question:
When you put the light on, do you see more or less dirt? You’re going to see more of everything, aren’t you?
Our mind is generally focused on what’s wrong because it’s always looking to protect us. It’s not going to protect us by looking for what’s right.
The trick here is observation without judgment and criticism. It’s observation and being able to just observe, leaving right or wrong out of the equation.
What will that help you conquer in life?
1. You will be able to be very conscious about what’s going on and then make changes if you need to.
2. You will be able to practice observing without judgment.
Here’s the cool thing, my friends. If you can practice observing yourself without judgment, then you can practice observing life and other people without judgment.
Life gets a lot more peaceful and more enjoyable regardless of your situation. You get more inner balance to sustain through success or setback. You become more resilient. People like that energy and want to be around it. That’s Zen, baby.
So tell us … what’s been on your mind? We’re not here to fix or to provide remedy. Tell us what you’re really thinking and feeling these days, and observe how much of yourself you might see in others’ responses.
Looking at those dark corners doesn’t take as much courage as it does compassion. Start with yourself…
14 comments to ““How to Conquer Life?””
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Eoinmc - May 7, 2015 at 7:33 am
Thanks for sharing this useful information.
Brian - May 7, 2015 at 1:15 pm
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Lis - May 10, 2015 at 7:34 pm
You are right. A lot of us tend to look at life and ourselves but not really look without judging. This is a very difficult concept, I feel, as our minds have been taught for so long to see things in a certain way.
I suppose with practice it will become easier to switch off the positives and negativities and just concentrate on what is in front of you without judgment.
A really thought provoking piece.
Lis.
Brian - May 10, 2015 at 7:40 pm
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Jenny - May 13, 2015 at 3:18 pm
What an amazing article. Just think of how peaceful the world would be if everyone could observe the world and themselves without judgement! Keep spreading the peace.
Brian - May 13, 2015 at 4:00 pm
Thanks so much for your feedback. I know right it would be absolutely fantastic in order for it to become that way we just start with ourselves and spread the mindset around our communities stay blessed come back again soon our next article is being released on Thursday your going to love it
anny - May 13, 2015 at 4:34 pm
Great article, I took a few notes. I have been thinking a lot about this kind of stuff lately, specifically the Toltec teachings. I am reminded that Buddha is also a great master. Truthfully, in my own life, anything that I have mastered required a great amount of observation in addition to a recognition and acceptance of powerful emotions. This is not easy to do. Thanks again for the great read.
Brian - May 13, 2015 at 5:07 pm
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Laura - June 12, 2015 at 4:26 pm
Hi,
“observation without judgment and criticism” – that is so hard to obtain…..
Let’s take an example: I am watching “America’s gt talent.” I look at this guy and say/observe: “This is so embarrassing!” This statement is not a neutral one, it contains my disapproval, it is a judgement. I put a label on it. Unless I say only “this is a man” anything else I say is judgement, either positive or negative.
It’s pretty hard in this world to live without making distinctions between good and bad.
Maybe only slow down things a little, and while doing this, realize that no matter if bad or good, stupid or clever, we are in fact THE SAME.
To me, this seems easier to accept than completely stopping observing the “colors” of the word.
What do you think?
Laura
Brian - June 12, 2015 at 4:45 pm
Laura thanks so much. love your comment very thought provoking. To answer your question I
Feel it is essential to judge actions base upon historical outcome of cause and effect. with that being said we should never judge the person just the act in regards to the effect it has on our life wether it be positive or negative. Hope that helps. How has eliminating judgement helped you in life? Do you feel more empowered?
Laura - June 12, 2015 at 6:46 pm
I really don’t believe we can eliminate judgement from our daily life. We simply cannot build anything if not compared to something else.
But we can eliminate the emotional part attached to this judgement. We can say of a person that it is bad, without hating him or feeling disgrace. Understanding that person, his perspective, his background, his reasons, not literally knowing them, but accepting the fact that they are there and they have a reason for being there, well, this understanding frees us from the emotional involvement.
But we need to never forget that.
This is how I did it. And still do. 🙂
Laura
Brian - June 12, 2015 at 7:29 pm
Laura,
This was extremely well put thank you for sharing this with our community. By understanding each person has a different perspective we can detach the emotional aspect of judgement fantastic point. Our emotions super charge the process of thoughts becoming realities. One really interesting Obversation that really helped me become nonjudgemental of others, is that we subconsciously start to acquire the attributes of what we think most often about others. Does anyone else find that to be the case based on their experience?
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